Self-Care for Facilitators: Four Simple Practices to Try
With years of experience training trauma healing facilitators all over the world, psychologist Philip G. Monroe knows just how hard it can be for people called to this ministry to be compassionate with themselves. After offering some tips for knowing when it’s time to prioritize self-care, Dr. Monroe wanted to share these suggestions for doing just that.
1. Accept your humanity.
When you become aware of difficult emotions, remind yourself: God created you with a tender heart. Acknowledge yourself as a human first, made in your Creator’s image with the full range of human feelings. And God already knows your heart, more deeply than you can understand (Psalm 139). Simply acknowledging your God-given humanity can be a powerful antidote to the shame and self-criticism that helpers often feel.
2. Trust Jesus with your suffering.
When people are feeling hurt or vulnerable, Jesus invites them to tell him all about it. He asked the man at the pool of Bethesda, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6). When the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years touched his garment, he took the time to listen as she “knelt at his feet, and told him the whole truth” (Mark 5:33).
It can be difficult to trust even Jesus with “the whole truth” of what’s troubling you—but our Savior always welcomes your vulnerability, no matter how broken or weak you might feel. He will not break a bruised reed (Matthew 12:20, quoting Isaiah 42:3). It is restful and renewing to unburden ourselves before God. Lamenting helps us feel seen, supported, and encouraged—especially when we pour out our troubles to him.
3. Ask your community for support.
People called to healing ministry often struggle to take our own emotions seriously. We are keenly aware that other people are going through worse trials; we hesitate to burden anyone else with what’s troubling us. But God doesn’t ask you to carry everyone else’s burdens alone; instead, he asks us all to help carry each other’s burdens, “and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). That’s why it’s an axiom in ministry: pastors need to be pastored, shepherds need to be shepherded. Healing group facilitators need facilitation, too.
So when you recognize you need support for your emotions, turn to your personal community of practice, whatever it’s like. A community of practice can be just two facilitators who come together to acknowledge their own difficulties and support each other. Or you might find time to talk with a mentor or trusted friend outside of Trauma Healing. No matter whom you ask, remember how much joy you get from helping others heal. By asking for support, you make it possible for others to feel that same joy.
4. Find a way to rest.
Too often, the Church sends people out into ministry with the expectation that they will just keep working forever. There are plenty of Bible verses that encourage us to persevere. But God’s Word is also clear that, for human beings like you and me, the work of caring for others has to have some limitations.
If you don’t believe me, believe Jesus—whose public ministry was only three years long. Over and over in the Gospels, we see our Savior going away to pray, falling asleep from exhaustion, and taking time for himself. He deliberately leaves the front line of ministry to be alone with God. So when you are overwhelmed, you can and should do the same however you can—whether that means taking a months-long sabbatical or stealing just a few moments alone for silent prayer.
If this post hit home for you, you might benefit from Caregiver Cards, simple Bible-based tools to help you care for yourself while helping others heal. Available in English and Spanish.
